Away – in Nantucket

August 29th, 2010

I am back from Nantucket, and I am asking myself, ‘Why?’

It is often a real journey to reach Nantucket, with hazards and obstacles to slow the way: fog or hurricanes to ground your airplane, or a slow ferry boat from Hyannis to carry you across miles of water. It seems to me, however, that if a place is ‘Hell and Gone’, once you finally get there you really are ‘away’. Nantucket (supposedly from the Native American Algonquian word for ‘Far Away Isle’) is most definitely Away.

This year the ferry trip from Hyannis to Nantucket took place on a perfect day. The sea and the sky were calm and cloudless, and everywhere so blue that it was difficult to tell sky from water, wrapped ’round as we were by bluest blue.

All the ferry passengers, myself included, gave themselves up to the sea and the air, even while our eyes swept the horizon for the first sighting of Nantucket Island.

There is a ritual to arriving. Suddenly you realize that you are no longer a sole boat on the vastness of the sea (okay, it is not the sea, but Nantucket Sound), as the ferry joins in the slowing parade of sailboats and motorboats heading into the harbor. (My family always called the big motor yachts ‘Stink Pots’. I no longer remember when that started.) The ferry enters the outstretched arms of the stone Jetties that guard the harbor mouth, and there, stretched out along the starboard side of the inbound ferry, are the imposing facades of the shingled houses that line Hulbert Avenue.

The ferry continues its measured approach towards the dock, and rounds the familiar light at Brant Point,

revealing the inner harbor, and the familiar skyline of Nantucket Town, punctuated by its three church steeples. We are here.

Nantucket is famous for many things: its whaling history and beautifully preserved historic Captain’s houses, its fabled summer visitors, for the beaches of the South Shore, Portuguese Bread, Nantucket Reds trousers, Bartlett’s and Moor’s End Farms, bluefish, Aunt Leah’s Fudge, the bar at Straight Wharf, and music at The Chicken Box, to name just a few among them. Nantucket is even more special for the things that are harder to name. I wish I could write words that would capture the scent in the air, as the early sun burns through the fog over Ram’s Pasture, or for the waft of pine and heather that floats along the bike path following the Polpis Road.

Or for the surprise of the views that reward you when you reach the barn at Ram’s Pasture and start down the dirt track towards the Osprey nests.

The quiet scenes that greet you, when you walk in to town early in the morning,

perhaps to grab your copy of the New York Times at The Hub, or to enjoy a steaming cup of coffee from The Even Keel Cafe.

There is much to explore, beyond the shops and restaurants of Town, beyond the sand and glistening waves of the South Shore.

A quiet morning walk along Front Street in Siasconset (‘Sconset) reveals gem-like gardens surrounding diminutive summer homes, houses that started out as Portuguese summer fishing shacks.

For the mother of grown children (and as a daughter, sister, sister-in-law and friend) Nantucket is a rare and wonderful place. Here you and your extended family can walk, run, bike, swim, surf, boogie board, play tennis or golf, attend cocktail parties, sight-see, or attend lectures.

You can visit the Nantucket Conservation Foundation’s properties to learn about New England’s rare micro-ecosystems, visit with friends, shop, dine out, play cards (Concentration or Poker, your call), or do puzzles, and even – Old School – needlepoint. You can make your choices, on sunny days, or in the fog, at the beach, along the bike paths, or walking the moors. You can join the summer crowd, or you can be on your wonderful own.

I am already missing ‘The Grey Lady’. A lot.

I wish I were still Away.

Ants Enough

August 17th, 2010

If you are squeamish, stop here. I’m warning you.

They were waiting for me, in the last remaining cardboard carton in the attic of the Barn at my Mother-in-Law’s. Perhaps they had decided I was never coming back.  In the meantime they had been happily going about their business, apparently for generations.

The cardboard carton in the attic was one of several that my Husband I had brought back from California, years ago, when he finished business school and we decided we needed to move back East. (It all seems to be about possessions recently, doesn’t it? A history of acquiring them, transporting them, and saying ‘goodbye’ to them.) We were moving from our Palo Alto ‘Mouse House’ – a quaint little ranch house set in a yard with lemon trees and artichoke plants just blocks from the Stanford campus - to a small apartment in a Pre-War building on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.  But when we needed to move from California, the apartment wasn’t actually ready to receive us. The Pre-War kitchen, with its original enamel stove and sink with washboard (the sink unit was about half the size of a Volkswagen Bug), was being replaced. We were looking at three to four months of temporary quarters all over Manhattan, subletting other people’s studio apartments over the summer, while construction was underway at our soon-to-be new home. To be honest, we were bag people that summer, carting our suitcases and groceries from the first sublet to the fourth…

We thought we had disciplined ourselves with a ’Bonfire of the Vanities’ before the moving truck arrived on Park Avenue in Palo Alto, dispensing with college and graduate school texts and notes, old skis, sketchy furniture we had inherited from other friends during school, or had adopted at Goodwill. Still, there were cartons of belongings we couldn’t bring ourselves to part with, boxes of favorite LP’s, photographs (as always), and a collection of  haphazard dishes and kitchenwares we had assembled before the generosity of engagement showers and wedding gifts supplied us with large and lovely matching sets.

As we were moving across the country, my Husband’s parents agreed to give house room – well, Barn attic room – to several boxes, which we were sure we’d be back to collect as soon as we had moved in on West 79th Street. That was in 1984.

I had gone through the boxes several times previously, when visiting my Husband’s parents over the intervening years. I had unpacked, repacked, and carried home a few things of use, and donated more. This last box held my first dinnerware set, eight blue rimmed plates, bowls and mugs purchased at Third Avenue Bazaar in New York City, in the late 1970’s. Perfect for my daughter’s first apartment, I had been thinking since her infancy, so I continued to save them.

On this last visit before the house is sold, final decisions had to be made, and everything carted away, or readied for the moving van.

So I took myself to the Barn attic on an August morning last week. It must have been close to 100 degrees, with the humidity at 80% and rising. I tore off the tape across the top of the box, and lifted the cardboard flaps. I heard a rustling, a shushing sound, almost like water trickling through pebbles.

I know now it was the noise of ants. Hundreds of ants, thousands of ants, living in every nook and cranny of folded packing paper. I shivered everywhere, and paused in my task.

When I had regrouped, I returned to the Barn attic with Raid ant spray, and soaked the exterior of the box, the flaps, and the exposed paper. More rustling as ants fled, or staggered forth. I felt guilt, as if I were a Roman army razing Carthage.

I waited. Then I lifted the top layer of blank newsprint, and took out the first row of mugs and saucers. Packing paper had become confetti. The ants had tunneled through layer after layer. Despite the spray, they were still scrambling everywhere. I could hear them moving with industry through the folds of shredded and chewed newsprint.

I am a pretty tough cookie, but I struggled to stay tough through this experience. I sprayed some more. Waited. Hoped I wasn’t going to poison myself with Raid, or come down with the hanta virus. (There were some other remains in that attic. Let’s leave it at that.) I lifted out another layer of paper wrapped items: salad plates, cream & sugar. And then I came to the cereal bowls. In the recesses of these bowls the ants had apparently set up their nurseries. There the final confrontation would take place. And staggering, crippled by spray, they were attempting to save the eggs. Maybe it was not Ant Carthage I was witnessing, maybe it was Ant Troy. Aneas, Anchises and Ascanius escaping to start a new civilization. Perhaps a few brave worker ants, carrying infant eggs before them, are still voyaging through the pachysandra and weeds surrounding the Barn, searching for a new home to re-establish their colony. I do not know.

I am afraid there was not a happy ending. The last box is gone from the attic of the Barn, the fragments of remaining packing paper bagged in black plastic, ready for the trashmen. All is quiet. Was it penance for avoiding the task all these years? Or a generational boon of habitat to the ants, before vengence arrived?

I wonder if the blue rimmed plates – now washed multiple times in the dishwasher in hot water - were even worth it. The Girl is probably going to choose her own set of tablewares, when the moment comes for her to set up housekeeping.

Ave Atque Vale

August 12th, 2010

My Husband is returning to his childhood home, perhaps for the last time. His Father is gone now, and is very much missed. His Mother has come to a momentous decision. She will be moving soon to a new home, in a new community: a retirement community, an adult community, a partnership for living. No, none of these names is appealing. Many of her lifelong friends have already moved into this development: more will be joining over the next few months. She doesn’t enjoy change. She is not really looking forward to this move. She doesn’t call it home; it may take some time before it feels anything like, to her.

My Husband’s family moved into their family house forty-six years ago, in the summer of 1964. That was also the summer my Mother, sisters and I moved into our new home in Washington, D.C., but that is a very different story. My Husband’s parents’ house was designed and built according to their plans and wishes, in a charming village on the outskirts of the Midwestern city where the family has lived for many generations. With them from their old city neighborhood came the family treasures, furniture, clocks, paintings, baseball gloves and stuffed animals. My husband  was ten years old.  His brothers were eleven and five.

There are still traces of the boys’ childhoods, here and there about the now quiet house. Football and tennis trophies gleam in corners of the bedrooms, or are tucked away up on closet shelves. The brothers have moved on to other awards. There are black and white ’snapshots’ of small boys dressed as Cowboys and Indians (my Husband is laying on the ground in this photo, staying in character, as he is  playing dead). There are annual school portraits, of the brothers with their arms crossed on wooden lift-top desks, and larger photos of the three boys in striped blazers, bow ties and saddle shoes, from a more formal photo sitting with their parents. The brothers still have the same awkward photo smiles. In the flip photo files, more growing boys, with their arms around the necks of their childhood dogs. All long gone now, both the knobby-kneed boys and the beloved dogs.

There are a few more clues in the remaining books: Winnie the Pooh, Smokey, White Fang, Kon-Tiki. A bedroom wall holds a Rogue’s Gallery, chronicling fishing trips, ski vacations, water skiing prowess, graduations and family weddings. In my Husband’s parents’ bedroom are treasured studio portraits of pudgy babies and powerful toddlers. They grew into strong men, these full cheeked infants.

Unseen in all these photos are the deeper, quieter memories of the boyhood moments that wove my Husband and his brothers so closely together, and formed their lives in this house. Brothers in pyjamas, jostling each other in doorways, terrifying babysitters, or wrestling on the basement floor until they were told to ‘take it outside.’ Who knows what secrets, what lies and aspirations they shared with one another in the upstairs bedrooms after lights out. Look outside to see them throwing the football to each other on the flat side lawn, shooting baskets behind the barn in the shadows of summer evenings – perhaps to escape the weight of homework, or awkward friendships, girlfriends, or the lack thereof. The basketball court has now been reclaimed by the forest; saplings grow where they played one-on-one until called in for supper.

There is the memory of the night the brothers came home after a beer too many, and carefully, carefully parked the car in the garage. It wasn’t until the next morning that they realized they had parked the car sideways, across both bays. The day they woke, uncomfortably early, to the sound of a chain saw. Their Father had cut down a tree, and felled it across the driveway. His car was up on the road; theirs was still in the garage. They would stay home that day, doing penance with chores. The night they snuck home late after a family wedding reception, only to find their Father outside in the dark, watering the lawn, wearing a sombrero with pom-poms circling the brim.

All of this will be gone soon. Favorite belongings and photographs will move to Mom’s new home, where floor plans and furniture placement promise to create a welcoming and comfortable space. Her sons hope the move to her new apartment frees her, this ‘downsizing’, while the rooms still pay homage to her style, and the life she has lived in this house across the years. The remainder of the family goods will be divided, gifted to sons and grandchildren, donated to church and charity.

This deserves and commands reflection. Life is about moving on, and welcoming the future. It is. It is also about letting go, and saying goodbye, both necessary for new growth to occur. But goodbyes are often  hard. I have said a few I haven’t wanted to.

My own grown children, who are moving into their futures with grace, speed and confidence, recall their Grandparents’ houses as places of fond memory, continuity and stability. The five of us have moved many times as a family, from an apartment in New York City to the New Jersey suburbs, from New Jersey to London, from house to house to house in London, to Boston, and back to New Jersey. My children have slept in many bedrooms, and have seen their possessions rearranged on different shelves and walls, hung in different closets. They are travelers; they adapt;  they are flexible. The three of them have reaped a wealth of experience from this somewhat peripatetic  life, but they have also paid a price. There is no “Home” at home, only their parents.  They mourn the passing of their Grandparents’ house, visited frequently in earlier childhood, more irregularly of late, but still a place where time has seemed to run smooth.

Like their Father, they remember these rooms, the high four poster beds, these pictures just here, the way the dogs have always sat on the landing at the turn of the stairs. On the hill  is the barn that housed the green John Deere tractor lawnmower, which Granddad allowed them to drive about on the grass, and once even out along the private road. The back terrace (built by their Father) reminds them of summer birthday parties, repeated by Grandmother, to their delight, so that grandparents could share in presents and cake and ice cream. Down this wood-floored hallway they raced their cousins on the ride-on scooter and the red plastic ‘fungine’ (fire engine), until Granddad halted the races, saying, “‘This will end in tears.”

So three generations will be saying goodbye to the house, built in 1964 to house a growing brood of sons, and which has housed so much more.

What is it that we save and keep? What is it that travels with us through time? Library armchairs and grandfather clocks of course. But subtler the waft of memory that floats around these objects. The legs that ran through these halls, the knees that knelt in this chair, the flash of familiar fingers on this doorknob. Small grandchildren gathered around, their faces barely peeping over the Thanksgiving table, the engagement party where wine was spilled on the ‘foolish’ choice of the yellow rug (which still looks great, twenty or so years on), the teenage and adult tears that have dampened this pillow.

There will be more tears when the front door, with its brass fox head knocker, is pulled closed for the last time. And I know, in a very small way, a little of what that will be like. When I left our New York apartment after the moving men had taken away the last Lego block, the last can of Who Hash, I remembered, as I pulled closed the heavy front door, that I had brought two babies home to this apartment, watched them learn to walk on these floors…. And then I said to myself, “Close the door. And move on.”

My Husband and I have brought home with us, from this last trip to the Midwest before the family house is broken up for good, a curiously worked brass door knob and lock plate set. Mom, my Mother-in-Law, removed this set from the door of her own Father’s library, in the lakefront Victorian house where she grew up, when that house too was dismantled decades ago. The knob is very beautiful; she could not bear to leave it behind. She has kept it in the sideboard in her dining room all these years.

My Husband and I will install this brass hardware on the door to our own library, and every time my hand touches the knob, I will think of all who came before me, all who opened doors, and said goodbye, and went on.

My Study

August 9th, 2010

This weekend I decided I had to deal with the mess of notes, folders, correspondence, catalogs and other ‘business’ cluttering my desk (well really, my entire study). I don’t know what it is about midsummer’s heat that brings on a ‘Case of the Tidies’, but there you go. It just does. Last summer I felt the need to clean out the shed, the mudroom, and the garage. This year I’ve sorted half the basement, and now I want to move on to the paper avalanche that calls itself my desk.

To be honest, I have had this desk decluttering project on my list for some time, but I have been procrastinating. It’s pretty easy to do: one look at the stacks of papers, old  lists, thoughts for this blog that I’ve jotted on the back of used computer paper, printed-out emails (yes, my children roll their eyes at me) and I get that sinking feeling.  You really do have to look at each and every scrap of paper while cleaning your desk and deciding what to keep and what to toss. And then, you have to decide how to order the papers you keep, whether to scan a document into your computer, and/or file it manually(old school), and into which file. So I’ve been putting it off.

Friday I told myself, ‘Right, this weekend you engage with the desk.” So I took all the piles of paper, the back copies of magazines and catalogs, the newspaper clippings and receipts, and I placed them all on the floor. I thought the mess would be unavoidable, so I would HAVE to tackle the project. But you know, this weekend turned out not to be a paper-sorting kind of a weekend.

Then, in order to work at my desk over the weekend, I actually had to step through and around the stacks of paper now littering the floor. I did just that, quite carefully. The desk top was nicely cleared. That was a plus.

Today there are workmen at my house, and gardeners with a digger and a Bobcat re-landscaping next door, so I feel rather self-conscious trying to accomplish anything in the garden. I have walked the dog, and been to the gym, and bagged the recycling. The Dump is closed on Mondays, so really I have nowhere to hide. The kitchen is clean, the laundry folded, and the ironing done (not my favorite). Even this blog post is basically finished.

Now The Dog has come upstairs to help me. Okay: one trashbag, two trashbags, three trashbags, four…

Garage Sale

August 2nd, 2010

There are two sides to every story. The side of the story you hear, and the quiet underbelly of the story you don’t.

We live in a suburban town in New Jersey, 30 miles west of New York City. It could be classed as a ‘bedroom community’ for Manhattan, or even a ‘company town’ for Wall Street.  Many of this town’s inhabitants commute to jobs in law and finance in New York City. As a result, our town could probably be used as a leading indicator of the nation’s economic health, following the Wall Street meltdown of 2008.

In 2008 things ground to a halt around here, as everywhere else. Plenty of people lost their jobs, and those who didn’t worried that they might be next. Years of savings were wiped out in a few weeks. Houses for sale, on streets and in the school districts that had been sought after 6 months earlier, now languished month after month with no offers. There were rumors of houses heading towards foreclosure, but in a formerly wealthy town like this one, no one wanted that news to go public. That was a quiet story. Everyone who could afford to do so hunkered down for the duration.

Contractors, painters and carpenters who work in this town, and who had been able to pick and choose among projects and clients months earlier, now had time on their hands, with no backlog of jobs to work through.

After Labor Day 2009, the trucks were suddenly back in town, pick-ups and vans with logos on their doors, trailers full of gardening equipment, dump trucks and cement mixers. There were painters freshening house facades, landscapers replacing trees and spreading mulch, and men on ladders installing seamless gutters and new roofs.

Next came a resurgence of activity on building sites that had gone dark towards the end of 2008. There are very few remaining unbuilt lots in this town, so new built properties come at a premium, or because a house was scraped to make way for something new. With additions going up, and new houses being built, the town once again reverberated with the sounds of nail guns, chain saws and wood chippers.

This spring – 2010 – newly listed houses came onto the real estate market for the first time in eighteen months. Those in prized locations, with curb appeal, on tree shaded streets, were snapped up within days. In-town transactions took place between Valentine’s Day and the end of March, one family moving out, to another town or a fresh-built house, and another in-town family moving up, into a bigger house, on a better street, in a stronger school district. Town residents seemed to have inside knowledge of who might be relocating, and they moved quickly to take advantage. To our Wall Street company town, Wall Street seemed to be back in business. People had received bonuses, or finally felt more confident in their jobs. Those who could felt it was time to act. Prices were good.

The next round of houses for sale were listed in April and May, and they too went very quickly, many to young families moving out from Manhattan. In our neighborhood alone seven houses sold within four days of coming onto the market. Not one of the listings lasted until the date of their scheduled Open Houses.

It didn’t happen this way for everyone of course. A glorious house on a showy block in our neighborhood had been reported to be on the market ‘quietly’ for some time. The family had not managed a private sale. The For Sale sign from the town’s premiere Realtor went up on the expansive and professionally tended front lawn. It stayed there. “They are asking too much,” said those with sources. The family had bought the house when prices in this town were very high. There had been some market recovery, but value had been lost. They might not get what they wanted; they might not get what they paid.

Finally the For Sale sign came down. It was rumored that the family held a private auction inside the house; all the major auction houses came to bid on furniture, paintings, and china. A few days later a sign went up advertising a Garage Sale over the next weekend. Tables were set out on the driveway. Bins and plastic boxes began to appear. It worried me, things sitting out at the front of the driveway. It was forecast to rain Saturday morning, and besides….

Walking The Dog late on Friday afternoon before the sale, I spotted a striking lantern sitting on a picnic table at the back of the driveway. I had noticed someone taking the huge glass and metal piece down from the ceiling of the conservatory at the corner of the house a few days earlier. They were selling it? At the Garage Sale?

With The Dog still on the leash, I rang the front doorbell. When did I become an Early Bird? I asked about the lantern. Yes, the lantern was for sale. It would not fit in the house they were moving to. He told me what he had and his wife had paid for it. It was too much. He said they had searched and searched for just the right lantern for the conservatory, and had finally found this in New Hope five years earlier.

I thanked him and walked The Dog home. I thought. I had just the spot. I went back to the house. If they didn’t sell it tomorrow, Saturday, this was the amount I was willing to pay for the lantern, I said. I gave him my name and phone number on a slip of paper, with the price, and went home.

It rained on Saturday morning, and I didn’t go by the house. I didn’t want to know. But at the end of the day the sky cleared, and The Dog needed his usual spin through the neighborhood. We went walking. The front yard of the Garage Sale house was still littered with available items, but great gaps in the line up, and spaces on the table tops, told me that they had had some success during the day. And there were still Sunday’s bargain hunters to come. I didn’t see the lantern.

Just then the husband came out of the house. He recognized me. I asked if the lantern had sold. No, he said, he’d put it in the garage for me. He didn’t like the thought of it sitting out front overnight. And it was one of several things they had offered, he said, “that you wouldn’t expect to find at a Garage Sale.”

I inquired, and yes, they were pleased with the day’s events. His wife had sold the window treatments, mirrors, a Welsh Dresser, a breakfast table and chairs. They had sold their over-sized bedroom set,  all five pieces. It wouldn’t fit in their new house either. I suddenly realized the wife had not been participating in the sale. She stayed inside the house she was leaving. The father and sons were handling all the transactions.

I wrote him a check, and brought the car around. He helped me load the lantern. It was nice to think it would stay in the neighborhood, he said, and not go off somewhere with strangers.

When the moving van came to their house on Monday, it was a smaller truck, not the semi I would have expected. They had sold much of the contents of their house. There was not really much left to move, from that gorgeous brick mansion. Not much to take with them, wherever they were going.

That was a quiet story.

The Butterfly Diaries: Manduca sexta

August 2nd, 2010

You’re right, this species is not a butterfly. It’s a Hawk Moth. But it has the best caterpillar ever. Seriously. And the details of the Manduca sexta’s caterpillar’s life story – well, just you wait.

Let me put this photo into perspective. The creature below, seen feasting on my Mother’s tomato plants,  is fatter than your thumb,  and 4 to 5 inches long, almost the size of a hot dog. And this caterpillar has a red spike ‘horn’ at the end of its body. It might bite you. I kid you not.

Told you, best caterpillar ever.  This creature can denude the leaves and blossoms of half your tomato plants in a day or so, and chew sizeable holes in ripening tomatoes.  How absolutely fascinating. How gross.

This is a Tobacco Hornworm, on a tomato plant. Easy to think it’s a Tomato Hornworm, hmmm? But the slanting diagonal lines on its bright green  body and the nasty red tail spike give this caterpillar beast away.

Those of you who like a scary bedtime story, who read science fiction, or who play video games involving alien invaders, should listen to the shocking tale of the unlucky Tobacco Hornworm.

These greedy caterpillars are a favorite target of parasitic braconid wasps. Yup, parasitic wasps (from outer space maybe). The wasps apparently know when the caterpillars are eating your tomato plants because the plants themselves send out signals, releasing a distinctive scent even as they are chewed. Plant S.O.S. The wasps arrive, and deposit their eggs inside the Hornworm. As these eggs hatch, they feed on the inside of the caterpillar, then emerge to spin their cocoons, and attach themselves to the skin of the Hornworm. The Hornworms start to look like they are carrying a load of rice grains sticking out of their backs. The caterpillars are hosts to their own killers. The Hornworms become parasitized caterpillars.

Zombie caterpillars.

You can’t make this stuff up.

The Butterfly Diaries: Small Cabbage White

July 30th, 2010

The Small White (also known as the Cabbage White, or the Cabbage Butterfly, Pieris rapae) is the most industrious butterfly in my garden. From first blossom to first frost, it floats, flutters, and settles incessantly on and among the blue blossoms of the Catnip (Nepeta) and Salvia in the sunny front bed. It is a restless, hardworking butterfly, busy as a bee. The Small White a contradiction in terms.

Monarch Butterflies occasionally migrate through our neighborhood on their epic journeys South in the autumn, and then North again come spring, but they rarely stay in our garden for long. The Yellow Swallowtails generally appear in mid summer, gracing the garden with their lazy, soaring flight and glorious colors for much of July and August. The Monarchs and the Yellow Swallowtails are like the runway models of the butterfly world, displaying their wondrous  wardrobe and showstopping 3 inch wingspans to the less well endowed.

Compared to these showy butterflies, the Cabbage White is a bit of a Plain Jane. It’s wingspan is only 1 3/4 – 2 1/4 inches. It is often called a moth. It has a habit if sitting on a flower with its wings upright and together, rather than laid flat out like the Swallowtails, and the Monarchs, which apparently warm up by basking in the sun. As a result, the Cabbage White can all but disappear when settles on a plant.

But the Small White, the Cabbage Butterfly, is almost always resident in my neighborhood. They are the locals. Odd that, because they are said to have been introduced accidentally to North America, where apparently they are pests on cultivated cabbages. Luckily I don’t grow any of those.

Small Whites are said to be among the first butterfly species to emerge in spring, and have been known to appear during a late winter thaw as far North as Washington, D.C. I have become quite fond of these modest and industrious butterflies. As they flicker and alight incessantly, Cabbage Whites become like moving blossoms in the garden. Sometimes a pair will dance in the air, swirling up and about in a double helix.

I have learned that the Male of the species has one ’submarginal’  black spot on his wing: the female has two. I will know now when they are flirting in the flower beds.

http://butterfliesandmoths.org/species?l=1398

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_White

The Butterfly Diaries: Yellow Swallowtail

July 27th, 2010

One weekend when the children were small we took them to visit their Grandparents in Pennsylvania. There was then, and still is, a wonderful garden around the house, divided into informal ‘rooms’:  a shady hillside, a wildflower berm, a clipped box garden, areas of mowed lawn, and a raised vegetable bed. A stream runs through it, crossed by a plank bridge. There is a swimming pool, and a driveway that was just right for riding tricycles and pulling red wagons, or for washing the car with Dad.

Each garden space suggested its own entertainments. There were diving contests and a number of arcane games built around inflatable balls, foam noodles and inner tubes, and all involving  much splashing, in the swimming pool. There were Pooh stick races from the little bridge over the stream, raspberry and tomato picking in the vegetable beds, and chasing fireflies on the twilight lawn. Once upon a time there was also a sandbox, and a very special sit-on digger shovel, named Mary Anne, perfect for moving sand back and forth, and back and forth, and back again, between all the places five and six and seven-year-olds think sand ought to be moved.

The garden offered up a few new surprises on each visit: a snake living under the stone steps, a beehive in the eaves, a frog in the pond, and baby toads hopping about in the courtyard. On that summer weekend the surprize was butterflies and caterpillars. There were many elusive Yellow Swallowtail butterflies circling and  floating high up in the tree branches, and feeding on the nectar of the Butterfly Bush.

Even more fascinating were the enormous bright green caterpillars discovered feasting on the dill and fennel stalks in the vegetable bed. They were great juicy creatures with enormous heads, as round and inflated as a cartoon Michelin Man, and with yellow and black false ‘eyes’ on their backs to scare away predators. The children were entranced. They sat on their heels, hunkered down, hands on knees for hours  (it makes me hurt just to think about sitting in this position these days) watching these fat green creatures inch along the stalks with multiple prehensile feet, all the while munching their way through leaf after leaf.

Grandmommy was approached, and asked, “could they please take a caterpillar home’? Permission was granted, so we found ourselves back in New Jersey in the late summer with the questionable prize of an apple green caterpillar, secured in a fish bowl full of dill and fennel stalks and fronds. These I replenished from the grocery store  as best I could as the caterpillar digested them. We added a few sticks and dried leaves to make the fish bowl look like a natural ‘habitat’.

Sometime later that summer the caterpillar started to turn a darker color. I wasn’t sure that this was good indicator, but I continued to offer fennel fronds. The caterpillar became sluggish, and stopped eating. Either it was going to pupate, or it was going to die. I placed the fishbowl on the floor of the family room behind a chair, just in case.

One day my eldest son came to me saying, “Mommy, Mommy, the caterpillar is dying!” It was a fascinating, if gruesome, thing to watch, as the erstwhile almost laughable caterpillar began the serious business of pupating.  It had attached itself to one of the larger sticks in the bowl, and it now hung upside down, wriggling its extended body in a powerful and rhythmic manner. Its motions were somewhere between the extension and flex of a Slinky, and the struggles of a curvaceous woman wriggling out of a tight wet bathing suit. It arched its powerful head, and suddenly the back of its skin split apart, and the glossy bright mass of the pupa started to emerge. The caterpillar continued its rhythmic wriggling, forcing the skin of the caterpillar-that-was up its new body, towards the spot where its tail-like stern was still attached to the branch. It took hours for the entire process to take place. We were all exhausted by the time the chrysalis was finally still, hanging by its tail and a thin thread-like  filament, looking for all the world like one more branch or a dead leaf.

The children took the fishbowl in to school for show-and-tell, and after that we pretty much left it alone. It was pretty easy to forget about the caterpillar that had become a chrysalis that looked like wood. It didn’t do much.

Then one afternoon in the early spring – April maybe – my Eldest came to me, again in distress. “Mommy, Mommy, the chrysalis is dying!” Who knew that the lives of butterflies were built on such scenes of drama?

Again, we all rushed to observe the form suspended from the branch inside the fishbowl, almost forgotten behind the chair in the family room all fall and winter. Sure enough, the chrysalis seemed to be contorting, in a manner that looked almost painful, like a mummy trying to force its way out of its wrappings. I wasn’t sure I wanted to watch, but the children would not be torn away from the tiny spectacle.

The bark-like  chrysalis suddenly cracked, and something began to force its way out of the stiff sac. Spider-like legs came first, thin and sharply bent, strong, but wobbly as a newborn colt’s. A damp looking, slightly greyish, crumpled up creature with a fat body and spindly angular legs dragged itself forth. It was an ugly duckling of a butterfly; a weird insect. There was nothing very beautiful about it. But then it began to dry, and to expand and unfold, revealing itself to be a butterfly indeed. Darker markings appeared along the top of its wings, and black edging and stripes, enclosing patches of yellow color. It was a Yellow Swallowtail.

It took awhile for the butterfly to dry and unfold fully. At some point I realized that the butterfly would need to be released to fly away, otherwise it would just beat itself to death against the glass walls of the fishbowl. We had enjoyed observing this creature morph through the stages of its life, as our science experiment, but now it was time to release the final butterfly.

It was a sunny day outside, but cold. It was still spring after all, April, not the long, hot summer days of July or August. Thinking back, I wonder if perhaps the central heating and artificial light inside the house had disrupted the butterfly’s hatching calendar. When the children came home from school, we carried the glass fishbowl out onto the back lawn. My Eldest removed the screening that had covered the top. The butterfly fluttered upwards, and landed briefly on the lip of the fishbowl, before taking off for the sky and the trees above. The children looked up, tracking its fluttering flight across the sky towards the new leaves on the oak trees.

From out of the blue there came a bird, and, thrilled to find such a tasty morsel so early in the season, it fell upon the hapless butterfly, and carried it off. “Mommy, Mommy, the butterfly is dying!”

Another shocking butterfly lesson. “Nature, red in tooth and claw…” (In Memoriam, Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

I have found out several fascinating things about Yellow Swallowtails since that fateful day.  (Tiger Swallowtails, Eastern Tiger Swallowtails, Papilo glaucus Linneaus) They are not all yellow, for instance. According to a variety of sources, the males are yellow, and most lack the lovely blue markings at the base of their lower wings. The females are apparently both yellow and black, and in both cases seem to carry the distinctive blue patterning at the bottom of their wings, like so much eyeshadow.

In my own butterfly safari photographs, taken this summer in the same garden that yielded the Swallowtail caterpillar so many years ago, I note a wide variety of markings on both the Yellow and the Black Tiger Swallowtails. Perhaps a variety of sub-species share and enjoy the ‘rooms’ of that lovely garden, or perhaps each individual butterfly has unique markings.

Sadly, Swallowtails appear to get eaten quite often, with great relish, by birds who feast on their fat bodies, and leave a wreckage of color-dusted wings behind.

It is a dramatic and violent tale, in many chapters, the ‘frivolous’ Life of a Butterfly.

http://www.butterfliesandmoths.org/species?l=1372

The Butterfly Diaries: Red Admiral

July 21st, 2010

My neighbor has a magic butterfly. It visits with her at cocktail hour in the summer, as it has done for the past 10 years.

One summer evening many years ago my neighbor was out at the end of her driveway, waiting to take a late bike ride around the block with her three children. The children arrived pushing their bikes, but the two younger girls did not have their bike helmets. She insisted that they both go retrieve their helmets from the hooks in the garage. Meanwhile, she and her eldest son waited at the end of the driveway, in the slanting light of a July evening, beneath the sun-pierced branches of a tall American Holly tree.

A butterfly emerged from behind the holly, and flew around them. It was a large butterfly, its wingspan almost 3 inches across, the wings dark, somewhere between brown and black, bordered and tipped in orange and red, as though it were wearing a shirt with racing stripes. The top half of the wing also had a dash and a dot of bright white. It had strongly evident antennae. The butterfly continued to fly circles around them, and then alighted on my friend’s shoulder, where it sat quietly for a few seconds. After this brief rest, it once again took to the air, circling the pair of them, before stopping to perch on the boy’s shoulder. It sat quite still.

When the little girls arrived on the scene, the butterfly lifted off from their brother’s shoulder, and circled them lazily a few times, before disappearing back into the shadows of the holly tree.

That was the summer my neighbor’s son was diagnosed with Wilms’ Tumor (nephroblastoma), a rare childhood cancer of the liver that usually occurs in children younger than five.  It occurs only rarely after the age of six. More than 90% of children who are diagnosed with Wilms’ Tumor are still alive five years after the discovery of the cancer. It is said that females are more likely than males to develop the tumors, that people of African descent have the highest rates of Wilms’, and that children of families with a history of Wilms’ are at a slightly increased risk of developing the disease.

There was no family history of Wilms’ for this German-Irish boy. His Wilms’ Tumor was discovered in his pre-teen years, and his prognosis was not helped by the inevitable onset of teenage hormones. He lived bravely through five years of treatments and remissions, before succumbing to his cancer in the summer of 2005.

In the month of July, my neighbor keeps an eye out for the return of her magic butterfly. He – or generations of his descendants, great-great-great-great-great-grandsons and more – continue to appear at the foot of her driveway, circling the American Holly, as the evening sun slants low through the foliage. She waits for them, and night after night they come to perch on her shoulder. So fragile, and yet so enduring. She thinks of her boy.

Memento mori: carpe diem.

“Male Red Admirals are territorial butterflies that patrol their areas in order to find female mates. The males typically perch upon sunlit spots, in the mid-afternoon, to wait for females to fly by.”

“Red Admirals are considered to be people-friendly butterflies that will approach and perch on human beings.”

“In regard to other butterflies of their species, however, the male butterflies are known to be territorial in order to find a mate. Male Red Admirals generally claim an elliptically shaped area ranging between 4-13 m wide and 8-24 m long. To protect this area, the males will patrol their territorial boundaries up to thirty times an hour. If an intruder enters their area, they attempt to drive them away by out-flying and out-maneuvering the intruding butterfly.”

Kingdom: Animalia. Phylum: Arthropoda. Class: Insecta. Order: Lepidotera. Family: Nymphalidae. Genus: Vanessa. Species: Vanessa atalanta.

(University of Michigan Museum of Zoology, Animal Diversity Web))

Brrrck…

July 18th, 2010

I forgot to tell you about last week’s random act of kindness. No, that’s not fair, it was more a kind response to a random act of nature’s violence, to a sad accident.

It was the early evening of July 6th. Outside, an inferno of a heat wave was turning my ferns and astilbe into something more resembling vegetable tempura than plant life. It was time to cook dinner, and I was thinking store-bought chicken salad on a bed of romaine lettuce might offer salvation, and keep me away from even the thought of a stove.

My husband opened the back door, and cried, “Come here, come look, a baby bird is hatching!” A baby bird? I moved quickly to the door, and looked out along the stepping stones. There in the dirt was a large nestling, its eyes still closed, its featherless wings outspread, its enormous beak open as it called loudly, harshly, for someone – some bird – to come care for it, and feed it –  immediately. Its voice was imperious. I took one look at the bird’s head, with its powerful baby beak, and I knew. It was a Red-bellied Woodpecker.

The Red-bellied Woodpeckers nest in a hole in the branch of an oak tree above and alongside the very path the baby bird was sitting on, digging itself into a deeper and deeper into the dirt with its outstretched wings. I hear them in them in the mornings, from 4:00 am onwards, calling to each other from the tops of the oak trees: “Brrrck, brrrck.” The nesting hole must be 40 feet off the ground.  I looked up. How had the bird made it safely to the ground, sightless and flightless as it so obviously was? There is a holly tree below the oak, and I surmised that the nestling must have landed in the holly, and then slid and bounced down to the ground. It was a miracle that the baby had not fallen to its death from that height. But no miracle was going to restore this chick to the parental nest. The old wisdom that parent birds will not accept a nestling touched by human hands is apparently false. Do woodpeckers have more than one baby at a time? I did not know. Talk about the sadness of an empty nest.

It was large bird for a hatchling, if it had feathers it would be almost the size of a robin, but it was obviously still a baby, and totally defenseless where it perched in the ever deepening hole it was excavating with its wings. I picked it up and carried it into the garage. ‘Keep it warm, dark and quiet.’ Its skin was almost transparent, and the tiny beginnings of feather quills could be seen along the edge of its strong wings. Its mouth was open, and it cried to be fed.

A trip to the internet informed me that baby woodpeckers should – in an emergency, and when they cannot be restored to the nest or to the care of anxious parents – be fed on kitten chow softened and mashed with warm water. No water on its own; they can drown. No milk; they are birds, not mammals. I sent my daughter to the supermarket for kitten chow and a medicine dropper. I set about creating a safe haven: a shoe box (thank goodness I still keep them, even if there are no more arts and craft projects) divided into a bird sized nest with a shirt cardboard, and upholstered with crushed Kleenex tissues. I placed the baby in its new home. It spread its transparent wings, and stretched up on scrawny, scaly, clawed legs, and cried as it opened its bill for food.

As soon as my daughter returned from her errand of mercy, I soaked a serving of kitten chow in water, and mashed it with a fork. I sucked some of the mash up into the medicine dropper, and headed for the garage. The baby started crying the moment I opened the door, and opened its caw. I placed the dropper towards the back of its throat as instructed and slowly squeezed some of the mush into its mouth. It gulped, swallowed, called again. I repeated the action until the dropper was empty.

Back in the house, I consulted the internet again. Baby birds are fed up to every half hour by their hard working parents. That gave me my marching orders as to schedule. Baby birds should be kept warm. Well, their mothers do sit on them, after all, and this nestling had no feathers for insulation. I figured the garage that day was a good 85+ degrees. Outside the temperature was over 100. Maybe that was why the chick had fallen? Seeking a breath of cool air at the lip of the nesting hole?

That evening I returned to the garage every half hour between dinner and bedtime, with a partially filled medicine dropper of slushy kitten chow. The baby woodpecker devoured every offering, and I felt gratified to see it was pooping in the nest. Something was going through, after all. I freshened the tissues.

Online yet again, I researched those who foster, or ‘rehab’, baby animals of all kinds: raccoons, squirrels, reptiles, songbirds, and raptors among them. Well, a woodpecker isn’t a raptor, but it seemed the closest thing, and in my own neighborhood was a well known foster care establishment, The Raptor Trust. Instructions were to get the baby to a ‘rehabber’ as soon as possible. That would be my destination next morning then, if Woody made it through the night.

Up at dawn, I made a new batch of woodpecker pablum, and recommenced the feedings. Woody was voraciously hungry, and quite fierce in his demands. It moved me, the life drive this chick retained, after what should have been a disastrous fall from a third story nest.

My daughter and I prepared Woody’s box for traveling: more clean tissue for insulation against the relative cool of the car and the motion of the drive. We set off for The Raptor Trust in Millington, N.J. Woody did not enjoy the car trip. He cawed continuously, whether from fear, or hunger, because the stimulation suggested the possibility of feedings to him, we will never know.

“The Raptor Trust is one of the premier wild bird rehabilitation centers in the United States. Located in central New Jersey, the Trust includes a hospital with state-of-the-art medical facilities, quality exterior housing for several hundred birds, and an education building. A stalwart advocate for birds of prey for three decades, it is now recognized as a national leader in the fields of raptor conservation and avian rehabilitation.” We found ourselves in the graveled parking lot before a collection of red painted buildings, many which were comprised of what seemed like screened bird cage condominiums, where apparently up to sixty resident (and unreleasable) hawks, eagles and owls of twenty different species have found permanent homes.

Inside the medical infirmary building, we found a busy staff overseeing dozens of wire mesh-topped glass cages, most of these sitting on heating pads to keep their tiny occupants warm enough. The woman in charge of admitting looked disapprovingly at Woody, and then at me. “You couldn’t put him back in the nest?” Sadly, no. “He is just a nestling,” she said in a stern voice. Yes. Well then… I don’t think her disapproval was of me, or of Woody of course, but perhaps masked a general sadness that this vigorous infant should find itself in distress, and without parental care at such an early and vulnerable stage of its life. The outlook for Woody was uncertain, given his extreme youth. An efficient and curious staffer appeared, lifted the top of Woody’s box – he stretched up on his tiny legs and screeched for food – and she smiled down at him. “I’ll take him,” she said.

I felt a pang, my good deed done, as I watched Woody being taken into care. I filled out his paperwork as best I could, giving the 12 hour history of his finding and stay in our garage, his kitten chow meals, and then I made a donation to help pay (I hope) for his continued care and maintenance.

I called The Raptor Trust to follow up on the Red-bellied nestling’s progress. “He is enjoying wax worms and blueberries,” they told me. His development is apparently quite good, especially for a bird brought in at such a young age. His feather development is on track, almost on the schedule of  bird still in the nest. Sometimes, despite everyone’s best efforts, nestlings fail to thrive. But this little fellow seems to have quite a will to live.

I also learned that Red-bellied Woodpeckers may have as many as three to five nestlings in a clutch (and they don’t call them chicks…). So no empty nest after all!

They may not be able to give me further updates on Woody’s condition. If he continues to advance at this rate, he will soon join other fledglings in a larger communal cage. At that point they will no longer be able to tell which woodpecker is Woody. That’s okay with me. I feel if Woody makes it to fledgling kindergarten safely, he is well on his way. I am very proud of him.

Brrrck, brrrck…